Update for the update

TLDR: Legs don't hurt nearly as bad as they used to. Head still hurts amongst other things.

I started having problems around mid August, it is close to the middle of September and I am still unwell. The good news I suppose is that my legs no longer hurt nearly as much as they used to, some days it would be unbearable and debilitating but that's now no longer the case. They still hurt but it's more of an annoyance for the most part, I haven't needed to take medicine to ease the pain; I sometimes I still get sharp bolts of pain in my knees and ankles, but it's brief, and I can't do things like run or even stand comfortably for too long, but still this is Significantly better than it was before.

Last update I mentioned headaches-

...my head feels like it could explode, and my eyes feel constantly strained. I have to be careful how I walk, not just for my legs, but because sometimes if I take the wrong step or step too hard I can feel all of that force being sent to my head and the bottom of my neck...

For the last couple of weeks I have been coughing constantly, which sends all of that pressure to my head, making my headaches so much worse, every few hours I have to take medicine for my head, but we don't have that much for helping with my coughs long term throughout the day. I don't know if all of the coughing is or is not connected to what was going on with my legs, but I only started coughing alot when my legs started hurting less.

Another thing is the outer back of my jaw was swollen the entire time too, occasionally it would even force my bottom jaw forwards. I naturally have an overbite but whatever was happening would shift it into an underbite, it was painful and made it nearly impossible to chew. At first I thought it was my wisdom teeth again, but I've grown to know when my teeth are what bothering me and this wasn't it; I took a guess at tonsilitis because the symptoms match, (Swollen lymph nodes, constant coughing, maybe my constant sweating in my sleep was a fever), but my tonsils seem fine from just a look at them; I don't think it was tonsilitis. The swelling has gone down and I no longer have this problem, however I still don't know how connected it could be because if anything my coughing is only getting worse.

For weeks now just simply existing feels exhausting, I don't have energy to do anything and I have a hard time finding an appetite, perhaps that's on me though to try and find the energy when I have to do something, and eat when I know I should. Lately it's just been not fun. I was told that I was going to see a doctor, and then just didn't? I dunno we don't exactly have alot of money, and it's towards the end of the month so I don't think I'm going to get to see one anytime soon.

Right now I kind of wanna throw up, I don't feel nauseous, but I just want to I feel like I need to, it feels like there's a rock in my stomach and a sandpaper balloon in my chest, and every time I swallow it feels like something is blocking my throat, I hate it.

There were a couple of days I felt really good, and if you follow me on Twitter you saw the Dotidots that I drew, and then afterwards I opened Dotidot commissions, but as I am now I simply can't see myself doing them, luckily no one's payed, however there is someone how did pay for a commissions from me several weeks ago, and I've been unable to complete it, I feel incredibly incompetent. The side of my bed looks like a medical table with a bunch of pills, powders, and rubs, and CBD gummies- I'm not taking them.

In the last update I mentioned how paranoid about dying I felt, I don't feel that bad anymore, I've sorta just learned to cope with how I feel. For now though I just feel tired.

Sorry again if this wasn't as nice of an update as it should be.

Earlier too I mentioned that going further into the month we won't have alot of money, in the past I've had people send me money through Kofi after I've said things like that, if ever anyone feels the need to tip or donate please don't do so because I'm sick, if it gets that bad I'll let you know ✌️. Only do it if it's just out of appreciation of my art, though to be fair I'm not exactly drawing alot right now. Something stupid like a Hamburger is also good, yes do please send the burger money. (don't actually)

In the meantime, I shall lay back down. I hate naps, usually I took maybe 3 naps a year, but I find my self drifting to sleep much more often. Me and my homies hate naps.